Hidden Agendas, Leave These People Out of Your Life

We enter the New Year, and new Decade with reflection and some viable attempt at positive change. As said in so many ways, you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome. So this year, I have committed myself to better serving genuine people and leaving the disingenuous ones out of my life wherever possible. My time, my terms, my expertise is of value. ‘Don’t fuck with me’, as Helen Mirren*1 said a year or so ago about what age doth bring to your life.

I work in a seasonal position at one of California’s State Parks, and my one function is to coordinate events. Mostly I run a couple dozen weddings each summer. Still, I also assist various groups that use the facilities to hold outdoor activities. The building we call the Clubhouse has a small kitchen and storage for the tables, chairs, electrical cords. It is used mostly by the vendors who are hired by the group to assist in meal service. It’s sort of the backstage area for prep and staff who serve meals and vendors needing a changing or rest space. My job is as much about hospitality as it is protecting the Park Facilities. So, I will meet with pretty much anyone who needs a tour. Hence, they are comfortable about how the facility functions and what restrictions are in place.

I had a scheduled meeting one afternoon. A chairperson for a group that holds a quarterly dinner wants to review with a ‘walk-through’ of the Clubhouse. My week has been filled with personal, home-based work, and I did only a few hours at my office, due to power outages, my season coming to an end with little work needed on my part.

This chairperson, a woman whom I have called no less than 4 times. I get a ‘voice-mail’ full message on three of these calls, and one, when I do get to leave a message, ask her to call me on Sunday, when I’m around the office. She doesn’t. On another try a couple of days later, I get to speak to her, finally. This is call number 6. We agree to meet on a Friday when I have no wedding or other events. I am planning on taking the day off, but I decide to meet. She is coming from about half hour-drive. I accurately establish she can meet at a particular area of the park, where she enters the Service Road, which ends at the Clubhouse. She confirms to know this entry to the park- so we will not have to come through the visitor center. We are to meet directly at the Clubhouse, which will save time in parking and walking quite a ways to the facility.

Now, on that Friday, I show up early, is my usual M.O.D. I wait. 3 o’clock, 3:10, 3:15. Now, I call the Visitor Center to see if maybe she didn’t understand that we would meet at the building to discuss her event where it would be happening in two weeks. She is not there and no call. And, of course, I call my own office voice mail to check if she has called saying she would be late. NO message. Nothing. 3:20 I’m in my car driving the Service Road; she would have to pass me now if she were to be still entering the park. By the time I get to the main road on the edge of the park entry- there is no one coming. It’s 3:27.

On communicating this situation to my supervisor, she is livid and sympathetic to my informing her I will NOT be working with this group EVER again! I’m not putting myself out for a group, represented by this chairperson. They have a history with the park, less than stellar. They abuse some of the privileges we offer and contribute nothing to our park’s Foundation, which runs the gift shop and helps with general park improvements. The Foundation bought a new electric 6 person cart we use to transport the bride and guests during wedding events. This other group has done nothing of this kind in many decades using the facilities, other than paying the usual rental fees.

These types of people, I believe, have an agenda, hidden or blatant. It is there intent to make other people feel less important or elevate themselves to some narcissistic platform. We have seen all too well this type of behavior in our current White House resident. I have decided that I will no longer compromise, cajole, or even return a call for this type of person. It is just not worth the effort.

I once worked at a busy restaurant, which was reservations only on Friday and Saturdays. It was a 60 seat Ocean View place on the Monterey Peninsula, and it was not uncommon for us to serve 200 dinners on a good night. However, not because I held open tables for more than 15 minutes, a potential ‘no-show’. NO, if you don’t call or show within 15, maybe 20 minutes of your reserved time, I gave the table away. Perhaps to a walk-in, or more likely to a couple who had arrived early for their reserved seating. You have to do business when you have a business; you can’t just wait and hope someone or something will show up. The lesson here- My time, my seat, my company has value, and I expect you to respect that concept.

So entering the New Year and New Decade, I have committed myself to better serving genuine people and leaving the disingenuous ones along the roadside. My time is valuable only because I value and make it so. I will not waste my time on other people’s inept organizational inability.

*1

Why Helen Mirren Wishes She’d Said “Fuck-Off” more as a young woman. By Michelle Lee (https://www.allure.com/story/helen-mirren-cover-story-september-2017)